The Centrifugal Bumble-Puppy

can’t sleep because all i can think of is the amount of money i will have to pay when i graduate in a year and the increasing unlikelihood that i will ever have a job that will pay rent

GOT THE JOB AT THE WRITING CENTER!!!!

Movin’ on up in this life.

Later Chipotle.

How do you ladies look so good but drink so hard?

I drink a beer and 5 pounds go immediately to my gut

benedict cumberbatch can i just have sex with you please

The butterflies you nursed in your stomach gave birth to wasps. 

(Source: bloodcrownedprince)

My entire body hurts. My arms hurt from lifting heavy boxes for an hour, moving a couch from one apartment, into a car, and into another apartment. My back hurts from working 9 hours, and then having a 200 pound man sit on it for 10 minutes. My ribs hurt for the same reason. My legs hurt from working, lifting, and 2 hours of cardio. My mouth hurts from drinking too hot coffee and sucking on a red hot. Think I’ll just stay on the couch for a couple hours reading.

Going to be late for work

but I’m literally sitting here without clothes on watching the clock and not even caring